Thursday, December 6, 2012

Object of the Day, Caption Contest: The Red Cross Range





This poor girl. She’s blue. Literally. Despite her pretty boned, dress, elaborate coiffure and elegant pearl earrings, she’s just blue. Perhaps it’s because her whole world is blue. Literally. She’s so depressed she can barely open her eyes.

Why so sad, blue girl?

Well, perhaps it’s because she doesn’t have a Red Cross Range. Then, and only then, well…she’d be red. Or something.

The card was produced specifically for the “Co-operative Foundry Co.” of Rochester, New York.

Let’s see what the reverse says.

THE 
Red Cross Range. 
The past season’s trade only confirms the superiority 
of this Range. 

The Largest Oven in any Range! 
THE HOUSEKEEPER’S DELIGHT! 
------- 
THE NEW SPECIALTY: 
The “Red Cross” Patent Oven Rack! 

MANUFACTURED BY 
CO-OPERATIVE FOUNDRY CO. 
ROCHESTER N.Y. 



Since this young lady will never gave a Red Cross Range, and, therefore will never be able to smile, why don’t we see what she’d have to say for herself?

Let’s have a caption contest. We’ve not had one in awhile. Answers in the comments section, please.

20 comments:

Darcy said...

The worst day ever! This has just been the worst day ever!
How could everything have gone so wrong?
I planned and planned everything .
It was going to be perfect, my hair, my earrings, even the bodice of my dress matched the iron scrollwork on the oven.
And then I went a step too far.
The tattoo!
It was supposed to say "O. Rack" to honor their new patent oven rack.
But no, the guy makes it A. Mack!
And now, I'm locked in the ice house turning blue instead of being the new Red Cross Range Girl.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Ha! Very clever. Just one of the many dangers of Victorian tattooing.

Matt said...

The weight of her hair seems to be hurting her neck.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Plus the corset.

April said...

She seems to be looking down at the straight razor she's holding,

Joseph Crisalli said...

Life without a Red Cross Range is hard.

Carolyn said...

Girl needs a drink, not a range.

Joseph Crisalli said...

Could be.

Doug said...

She's probably sad because her legs are numb from her corset.

Joseph Crisalli said...

I'm sure they are.

Gene said...

"Stick your head in a Red Cross Range."

Joseph Crisalli said...

They used that until 1890.

Barb said...

"With a Red Cross Range, you'll also get those healthful gas fumes that bring a smile to your lips."

Joseph Crisalli said...

All others are worthless.

Sam P said...

The great great grandmother of the blue man group.

Joseph Crisalli said...

She uses her range to make music.

Shawn said...

In the soft, bluish light of the moon, she marveled at how easy the New Red Cross Range made it to cook her husband...er...FOR her husband...

Joseph Crisalli said...

I'm sure he was delicious.

Dashwood said...

"When you get burned by one of our ranges, call the Red Cross."

By the way, just what is a Cooperative Foundry?? Is that one which doesn't pour melted metal all over your feet? Or is it a misprint for "Cooperative Foundation" which is a corset without whale bone?

So confused.

Joseph Crisalli said...

I wondered that myself, Dashwood. As the idea of "cooperative" entities has been a recurrent theme in my observations of the last week or so, I found the idea rather curious. I think it's a foundry wherein everyone brings their own metal and, then, they back zucchini bread. Or something.